Confession #792:This is not so much a confession as something I have never been able to talk about before. People see the scars I have and assume I was an emo cutter. I let them think that because the real story is too hard to talk about. I was dating a guy when I was 15. He called me and invited me to go hang out. We started at a fast food restraunt. I went pee while he got the food. Thats really the last clear memory I have. We ate and started walking to his car when I didn't feel so good. After that, I am full of fuzzy memories of being in a dark room.
I would feel my arm/leg/chest, or whatever being cut. Then somebody would suck my blood. I can't remember how many there were, but at least 6 of them. I was tied to a bed or something. I heard the one I was dating at one point say "not so deep, I want this one to live". If I would start to wake up, I would get a pill put in my mouth and water poured down my throat. I remember waking up to beinng raped more than once, more than one guy. When they got tired of me, they tossed me into an alley in one of the lesser good neighborhoods around here.
I had to have nearly 1000 stitches to take care of all the slashes. The rape exam showed at least 8 different mens semen. I was missing for 9 days. Apparently the guys who did this to me usually killed their victims. I guess I should say I was lucky, but sometimes I wish they would have just killed me, rather than have me live with these memories. The guy I knew, that I was "dating" wound up getting arrested later on, but none of his acomplices did.
