Confession #1921:I loved a girl, but she had a boyfriend, for a long time. So I waited, I mistaken became very close friends with her. I date other girls, but nothing serious until two years later, she finally breaks it off with him (he was a major jerk). I may have urged her to do it "For her own good." I really just wanted her. Then, much to my chagrin, she starts dating one of my best friends after getting rejected by my other best friend, whom she had a major crush on apparently but he didn't want her (Plus I talked to him about it).
So she's dating one of my best friends, who she's only a little interested in, and I'm dying inside. Eventually I man up and talk to my friend and he agrees to break it off with her, because he wanted to get back together with one of his exes, again. (coincidentally I also dated her, small town does that to you.)
So then, I ask her out, and she turns me down, because she doesn'td the first argument gets going, but we resolve it. want to date any more of her "friends" because "it just doesn't work." I tried to explain everything I had been through for this one, but she didn't listen. I wait, she dates an older guy who just wanted sex. I smash many things. Eventually she breaks up with him because he moves too far away. I ask her out again. She relents and I'm happy.
On our first date, she brings her older friend who was visiting. I should have ended it right there. I flip out, but she apologizes saying "I didn't think you'd mind!" I was in awe of that statement but I really cared for her so I sucked it up. We continue to go out for a while, but she treats me terribly and then I realize that she only agreed to date me to break my heart so I'd leave her alone and we could go back to being "friends." I break up with her.
Two months later, she starts dating the sleaziest guy in school but sees nothing wrong with it. "He's a great guy!." I relapse and send the most carefully and lovingly crafted letter I have ever, or will ever write. I poured out my soul. She ripped it up in my face and then has sex with the guy and tells her friend all about it, knowing full well I'm sitting right next to them. I give up, and turned the love into a burning hatred that lasted until I moved away from her. I also cursed her out on more than one occasion. She dated a variety of other guys since then and I stopped caring.
Now, a year and a half later, more than 400 miles away from her, I'm just realizing that I still love her.
I'm fucking retarded.
